the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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