We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You pole danced in your parka.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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