C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
