no, he came in my armpit
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
