remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
