Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
