Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."

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(858): View more from California

Do you think there is vodka in heaven?

(619): View more from California

you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

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(248): View more from Michigan

sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?

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(208): View more from Idaho

She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

this strobe light makes my body turn on and off

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