I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
