pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
