I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
