Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize