either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i believe in u and ur pee
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
