Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize