You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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