Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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