god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize