I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
