We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
