Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
