Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
