Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
