I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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