do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
