Already got asked if we're dating
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
