i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
