so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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