LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize