I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
