the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
