What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
