I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
