The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
