in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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