Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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