hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
there is glitter all over my balls
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize