i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
