My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well you can't waste a boner
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
