I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
