she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Randomize
