sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize