i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This is the high leading the old right now
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
