margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
