i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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