I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
