What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
