i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i dont even know how to be here
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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