Pappa wants mamma naked
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I checked into jail on foursquare
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She bit a glass in half.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
