Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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