I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
