I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize