even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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