All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
