I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
