At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
