4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize