What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
