my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
