Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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