then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
