The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
