i just had sex bonerless
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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