are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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