Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You had me at "let me see your balls"
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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