My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
