he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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