Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just invented taco cereal.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
