I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
