Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
