My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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