He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
